Worthily Magnify

This is a post I can write at the moment, since (praise the Lord) I have the joy of working with several gifted drummers on my church’s worship team who do a great job and are joys to work with.

But sometimes drummers can be incredibly difficult. Their instrument is the loudest (unless you use electronic drums). If they speed up, everyone speeds up. If they slow down, everyone slows down. If they decide to play a 3/4 song in 4/4, then you’re all playing it in 4/4. They’re opinionated. They know that they’re crucial to the “groove” and they like being crucial.

How do you deal with a difficult drummer?

If the difficulties stem from a lack of gifting, then you must insist on three things:

1. That they practice and play along to a metronome. At my church, we play along to a click track in our ears to keep us all together. It’s run off of an iPhone app called “Tempo Advance”, and either I or the drummer control it. If your team has in-ear monitors, it’s easy to get everyone to hear it. If your team doesn’t use in-ears, then your drummer can play with it in his ears. If we can do this with excellent drummers, then less experienced drummers should be willing to do it too.

2. That they take lessons. If your church has the budget, then offer to pay for their lessons. I also highly recommend Carl Albrecht‘s training materials, videos, etc.

3. That they play at your rehearsals or smaller services before being used in a main service. If they say no to this, that’s a red flag.

If your difficulties stem from a personality clash, then you should:

1. Build a friendship with them. When drummers sense weakness in a band/worship leader, they compensate. Become a friend to them and then they’ll trust you and back off.

2. Communicate your expectations and ideas before the rehearsal/service . Email them and tell them how you want them to play on each song, what tempo is good, etc.

3. Don’t be afraid to transition them off the team. Bob Kauflin told me early on in my ministry that “no one should be given a lifetime pass to the worship team”. If your drummer is disturbing the unity of the team and not respecting your leadership, then you should chat with your pastor and develop a plan to transition him off the team.

The drums are the musical backbone of a modern worship team. You can deal with all manner of varying backbone strengths, but the weaker and more crooked it is, the wobblier the rest of the body will be. If you don’t have a good enough drummer to be a dependable backbone, then don’t have a drummer at all. You can fill that role by playing more or having the other members take on more responsibility. Don’t put inexperienced drummers on your team too soon, and don’t leave difficult drummers on your team for too long.

When you’re in ministry, there are going to be times when you say some really stupid things to people in your congregation. In the moment, you’ll either not be thinking clearly, or not thinking at all, and you’ll open your mouth and say something that you should have kept inside. I am really good at this.

Here are some things that you should never say.

“When are you due?”
Unless you have no doubt that the woman you’re speaking to is 100% pregnant, and that the news is public, never ask this question.

“So when are you guys going to start having kids?”
This question ignores one important, painful reality: many married couples who don’t have kids are trying to have kids and can’t conceive. Don’t ask this question.

“I don’t care what _____ thinks”
I once said this very phrase at a Vestry meeting (when I was 16): “Why should we ask people what they think if we already know what we’re going to do?” Bad idea. If you want to survive, both existentially and politically, in ministry, you have to learn to care, or pretend to care, what people think. You’ll probably learn a few things.

“Let’s have a meeting on Sunday morning”
For convenience sake, with people working during the week and unable to meet with me Monday – Thursday, I would oftentimes arrange meetings/auditions on Sunday mornings. If at all possible, don’t arrange meetings for yourself on Sundays. You’re too distracted and busy focussing on your worship leader responsibilities to devote yourself to anything else all that well on Sundays.

“Go talk to the sound guy”
So someone comes up to you and says “it’s too loud” or “I can’t hear the flute” or “my ears hurt”. What do you say? Don’t just tell them to go talk to the sound guy. The sound guy might not be in the mood and you can’t be sure how they’ll respond. So, just apologize and defuse the situation with a smile. Follow up with your sound guy later.

“I need more me”
I know that you’re trying to say you can’t hear yourself in the monitor, but this just sounds bad. Instead, say “is it possible for me to hear my voice better?” After all, it might be that you actually need less of something in your monitor in order to hear yourself more.

What else did I miss?

Are you a difficult worship leader to work with? Does your pastor find you to be a constant challenge? Do the other staff members at your church avoid disagreeing with you? Hopefully not. But sometimes worship leaders, with the wonderful artistic temperament that God gave us (not to mention the sinful nature we’re born with), can become mini-divas without realizing it.

Here are some signs you might have become a bit too high-maintenace.

1. You disagree with everything the pastor suggests. He can be right sometimes, you know!

2. You think you’re the only one who “gets it”. You’re not.

3. You get defensive when someone wants to help you choose songs. Loosen up.

4. Your natural response to a new idea is “no”. Try not to shoot down ideas so quickly.

5. You ask permission too much. Maybe he’d be happy to give you a longer leash than you want for yourself?

6. After church, you immediately fish for compliments. It’s obvious to people, and it’s not attractive.

7. Your office door is always closed. Be sociable. It’s good for you.

8. You think everything is a “big deal”. Most things you think are big deals are actually small deals that you make into big deals by treating them like they’re big deals. Relax a little bit and everyone will be happier!