I need your feedback and honest opinion on a song I’ve been working on.
It’s a song I’m writing for my congregation to sing this coming weekend as we look back on the last year for us (which has been a substantial one) and what’s coming ahead. I needed something that would be encouraging, point to Jesus, be a rallying cry, and be upbeat.
The line in the chorus “here we stand, we can do no other” comes from the great reformer, Martin Luther, who responded “here I stand, I can do no other” when pressed to recant his views. He refused.
In addition to being a song for my congregation, I wonder if this would work in any other context. This is why I need your help. Does the song work? Is it a keeper? Give me your honest critique. If it’s a keeper it will probably make its way onto my church’s live CD that we’re recording this coming weekend. Hence my plea for feedback.
Here’s the audio to a very rough demo (!) of the song.
And here are the tentative lyrics:
Here We Stand (We Can Do No Other)
Verse 1
Oh church, lift up your eyes, up from the waves
And look on Jesus’ face
Oh church, you should not fear. He’s strong to save
So lean on Jesus’ strengthOh church, God will not fail.
He never breaks His covenant
Oh church, He will prevail, through every age
So trust in HimChorus:
Here we stand, we can do no other
We could run forever but we’d never find another place to go
Here we stand, we are held together
By a great Redeemer
In his hand, here we stand, we can do no otherVerse 2
Oh church, the story ends when Jesus wins
Don’t doubt your destiny
Oh church, lift high the cross, the empty cross
It stands in victoryOh church, you will not fail.
Your hope is in what God has done
Oh church, you will prevail
The battle has been surely wonChorus
Bridge
No turning back, no turning back
No turning ‘round, no turning aroundWords and music: Jamie Brown
Tell me what you really think!
Worthily Magnify 
Jamie….
I am having problems opening the MP3….not sure if it’s my wireless or something else. I’ll try again at the church when I get there.
-al
The verses are really catchy and I like them a lot. On first listen, my gut reaction is that the chorus is a little too wordy, which makes it harder to follow and connect. Sometimes a really simple chorus allows the congregation to focus on heartfelt worship. I think the words of Martin Luther are a great rallying cry for the chorus, but you may want to simplify around that centerpiece. (Just an opinion.)
There’s a lot good about this song. Love the bouncy rhythm. Love the theme of encouraging the church through all trials and troubles, and so calling us to courage and not just passive endurance. This makes the song’s theme very unique and very pastorally helpful. To top it off, the melody is very singable and memorable.
Couple of thoughts: You’ve got some great rhymes going in this song, but there are places where you skip this – which make the inconsistencies stand out. I’m thinking mostly of the first pre-chorus and the chorus. In fact, the wordiness of the chorus can be unified by a good rhyme. Second, the bridge feels a little like a place-holder. It works (very effectively) as an outro, but I like it when a bridge adds something to the overall message.
One place you didn’t go lyrically that might be helpful: when Jesus challenges Peter, asking the disciple if he will leave in the face of Jesus’ hard teachings (last part of John 6). Peter responds “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” Seems very apropos to your theme.
Very cool stuff!
…You’re braver than most to open it up to constructive (hopefully) criticism. Kudos.
Groove is great. But I was longing for the 2nd phrase in the chorus and the verses to differ slightly melody-wise. I think you go to a minor in the verses to change it up, but I think even just a few different choices melody wise will really help establish a hook… which will help cement the new song through the week. People whistle or hum the melody, not the lyrics.
… but that’s just being super picky. Thank you for your heart, and sharing it with us.
This is all SUPER helpful. Thanks. Keep it coming. I suppose my biggest question is: if I make improvements to this song, is it a song that any of you could ever envision using in your context and it actually working?
I could definitely see this being useful with my congregation.
I am worship leader that is subject to the flowing with their keyboard/pianist but i am not a musician so you are ahead of me there! What I heard was the same thing the second replier mentioned. 🙂 Some redundancies that may need some tweeking…
I think that some more depth and creative range would give this song’s wordiness a place of belonging per say…
Almost like when rap, or country gets redundant and the listener gets lost in the redundancy rather than consumed in the intended message…
Hope those examples make sense!
Our music should be platform to minister to the heart of the Father God and to bring man to a place where he too is ministered to thus he becomes a minister himself!
If the music gets in the way, whether too busy, too redundant or too simple, then we missed a great opportunity. I think you are at a special precipice and a little altering will bring about great entrance, blessing and revealing.
How can we impact, His heart, the atmosphere and the heart of man?
This big question remains the dance but only ONE audience is essential …
Blessings!