Top Ten Ways to Improve the Worship at My Church

This afternoon one of the pianists on the worship team at my church emailed me ten (humorous) suggestions of ways we could improve the worship. I thought you’d enjoy them, so here they are:

1. Do a lot more Carman
2. Install new sound system that “goes up to 11”
3. Fog machine to accompany more meditative songs
4. Play U2 for processionals and recessionals because, you know, Bono’s a Christian
5. Task Men’s Ministry to perform interpretive worship dance at 11 am services
6. Run the pipe organ through a Marshall stack
7. Give everyone in front row their own tambourine
8. Use “bouncing ball” effect on projected lyrics
9. Single out people in the congregation (preferably with spot-cam) who are insufficiently engaged
10. Call out the first four words of every line the way the Hillsongs guys do it

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