Tag: Lessons learned

Don’t Be Afraid to Laugh At Yourself

Every once in a while, while leading worship, you can’t hide from the congregation the fact that, at that moment, you don’t know what you’re doing. In these moments, you can either try to keep digging (in which case you usually make things worse) or just laugh at yourself.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

Back in May (of 2012), my church had its very last Sunday morning service on its beloved property of over 275 years. I’ve talked about this before (specifically here). Sunday May 13th was the day, and at the end of the opening time of worship at our 11:00am service, after we sang “Behold Our God”, I had planned for our congregation say Psalm 95:1-7.

The problem was that I hadn’t checked to make sure it was ready to go on the screen. So after “Behold Our God” ended, and I said “let’s read together from Psalm 95”, nothing came up. Awkward moment number one.

The other problem was that I was depending on the words being on the screen so I didn’t have a bible or a printout close by. So I had to rely on my memory. Which at that particular moment, in front of 1,000 people, decided to fail me. Awkward moment number two.

By God’s grace, I had the presence of mind to laugh at myself.

After realizing that Psalm 95 was, in fact, NOT going to come up on the screen, I said “…maybe I’ll read Psalm 95“. People laughed. Phew. Awkward tension lowered a little bit.

Then, after fumbling my way through trying to remember how Psalm 95:1-7 went (and not doing a very good job), I said “(pause) that’s a paraphrase“. People laughed. Phew. Awkward tension lowered again. Then I quickly prayed before I made any more mistakes!

My point is that in those worship leading moments when it’s clear to you and to the congregation that you’ve made a mistake — it’s usually a good idea to just laugh at yourself. It gives them permission to laugh too. It lowers the tension, breaks the ice, and then everyone can move on.

Here’s the clip of the moment for you to enjoy. Feel free to laugh.

The Value of Out-of-the-Bubble Advice

News flash: if you lead worship in any capacity, whether it’s full-time, part-time, or volunteer, one thing is inevitable. You will face a difficult situation at some point. And you won’t know what to do. And how you handle the difficult situation will have consequences.

A member of your congregation is so angry at you that he/she threatens to leave the church. How do you respond?

It seems like someone else on the ministry team/staff at your church is out to get you. Who do you go to?

A member of your worship team is openly living their life in a way that’s contradictory to being in up-front worship leadership. How do you tackle this?

Your pastor is critical of you to other members of the congregation. What in the world are you supposed to do?

You inherited a “worship design committee” that is seeking to exert control over you and your song choices that’s not helpful. Do you have any hope of survival?

These are just a few made-up scenarios that either in my own ministry, or in my experience knowing other worship leaders, touch on some of the difficult situations that leave us wishing we were in another line of work.

And while the difficult situation that you’ll face might be different from one I described above, your questions will be the same. How do I handle this? What is my next move?

You handle tough situations by getting good advice. And, preferably, out-of-the-bubble advice. Someone who can look at your situation from a 30,000 foot view. Someone who’s not emotionally involved. Someone who has Godly wisdom. And, most importantly, someone you can trust to be honest with you.

Here’s the thing, though. And I want to be careful how I say this.

Sometimes the worst advice you’ll receive will come from other people who are in ministry. This is because, generally, people in ministry don’t have as much business/management/leadership experience as the people who are, you guessed it, working in the fields of business, or management, or leadership.

I’m not saying that people in ministry, namely your senior pastor (who you need to include on as much as you can) or other pastors at your church, won’t have good advice. Go to these people too. They’ll have great insights and observations and could potentially help you avoid some landmines. You might have a pastor who’s incredibly wise and experienced. (And even if he’s not, you should still keep him in the loop and love him as well as you can!)

But, again I’m making a generalization here, most pastors or people in ministry, are not nearly as experienced or seasoned in the political and managerial realities of real-world leadership issues as some of the Godly men and women in your congregation are.

So If I could give one piece of leadership advice to a new worship leader, it would be this: when you face difficult situations in ministry and you don’t know what to do, stop and take a deep breath. Pray a lot. Talk to your pastor and get his advice and observations. But then get outside the bubble as quickly as you can. Find someone who can be your mentor. Someone who has run a large-ish organization. Someone who’s been in politics. Or someone who is a gifted leader. Spill the beans to them. Then listen to their advice. Give them permission to be honest with you. Because maybe you’re the problem! In any case, listen well and you’ll benefit from them.

Out-of-the-bubble advice will prove to be incredibly valuable to you as a worship leader, and will help you navigate the inevitable difficult situations with wisdom and clarity.

Ten More Worship Leading Myths

A couple of weeks ago I shard ten worship leading myths that seemed to encourage/challenge a lot of worship leaders and generate some good discussion. I think most worship leaders find themselves regularly facing discouragement and doubt about their role in ministry and whether or not they’re making a difference and going about things the right way. All of us who lead worship could use some encouragement and challenging from time to time, so I offer ten more myths that can keep us being as effective as we should be.

11: My worth correlates to how worship goes. Wrong. It correlates to Jesus’ perfect sacrifice so get over yourself.

12: If people aren’t into it, I should repeat it 4 more times. Wrong. Sometimes you just need to move on.

13: That song didn’t work last week so we should throw it away. Wrong. If it’s a good song, try it at least 3 times.

14: I’m really good at this so I don’t need to prepare. Wrong. God seems to enjoy humbling cocky worship leaders.

15: Maybe someday people will notice me. Wrong. Maybe someday you won’t want to be noticed.

16: Big church worship leaders are experts. Wrong. Small church worship leaders usually have a much harder job.

17: My job is to take people on a journey or create an experience. Wrong. Your job is to point to Jesus with clarity.

18: If we sing too many old hymns we won’t be relevant. Wrong. If you sing too few you won’t have enough substance.

19: I don’t need to get too involved in the congregation. Wrong. If you don’t love them you’re just a clanging cymbal.

20: My pastor doesn’t know how lucky he is to have me. Wrong. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have his job!

As always, I’m sure I missed a couple hundred more myths so please feel free to share.

Ten Worship Leading Myths

There isn’t a worship leader in the world who doesn’t struggle with regular, persistent, frustratingly silly (but still dangerous) moments of doubt/fear/anxiety/self-consciousness/jealousy. We start to believe myths that tell us we should be different, or we aren’t talented enough, or we shouldn’t uphold certain principles. These myths weaken our ministry as worship leaders.

Here are ten common worship leading myths that come to mind:

1: Every week you have to be more creative than the last. Wrong. Every week you get to point people to Jesus again.

2: Don’t waste too much time thinking/praying about songs for Sunday. Wrong. This is your most important job.

3: You need a great voice. Wrong. If God calls you then you’re the man for the job. Sing with abandon.

4: You have to stay up-to-date with all the new stuff. Wrong. None of the stuff changes lives. Jesus does.

5: You’ve really arrived when you get famous. Wrong. The Church needs servants not celebrities.

6: if people aren’t into it then something’s wrong with your leading. Wrong. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. Be patient.

7: Anyone with a willing heart should serve on the worship team. Wrong. Look for heart AND giftedness.

8: The Holy Spirit only shows up on the 4th song. Wrong. Don’t create formulas. Magnify Jesus in whatever time you have.

9: You’d be happier at another church. Wrong. You’d just have different challenges and different reasons to be unhappy.

10: You should speak before every song. Wrong. The more you talk, the less they hear what you’re actually saying.

I know I missed several hundred more myths that worship leaders believe. If you’ve got any to share, I’d love to hear them.

Give Yourself a Break

For many years, too many years in fact, I led worship way too often.

Starting in the Fall of 2006 when my church started a Saturday service, I was the primary worship leader for the Saturday 5:00pm service and the Sunday 11:00am service. Two services a weekend. I would get a free Sunday the weekend after Easter when our student worship team would lead, and I would take two weekends off somewhere in the summer. Three weekends off per year.

So, I was picking songs, leading rehearsal, up front, and leading worship 49 weekends a year. And since we were doing two services each weekend, that means I was leading worship 108 times a year. This doesn’t count monthly healing services, Wednesday staff meetings, and other services and events. But you get the idea. It was way too much.

It was unhealthy for me. It burns you out after leading that many times in a row. You don’t feel fresh anymore. You don’t lead fresh anymore. Everything starts to blur. You get tired of choosing songs. You get tired of leading rehearsal. You lose energy. You fall into ruts. You get predictable. You get safe. Worst of all, you start thinking that your church would fall apart if you were to leave.

It was unhealthy for my worship team. It didn’t give other worship leaders in the church a chance to lead. There might have been an occasional spot for them for a men’s or women’s ministry event, but I wasn’t giving people an opportunity to get experience leading worship in the context of a service. I was hogging 108 opportunities all for myself.

It was unhealthy for my church. Whether they realized it or not, I was fostering an unhealthy dependence on me leading worship, so that when I did rarely get a service off, it was more disruptive than it should have been. If I really did mean what I prayed – that I would decrease and God would increase – then why wouldn’t I take a very practical step toward decreasing and get myself off of the platform more often?

I have resolved to push other worship leaders in my church into at least half of the 108 yearly opportunities. I lead worship very seldom on Saturday nights now. Other worship leaders take turns, sometimes by themselves, and sometimes with a band. I lead healing services very seldom now. Other worship leaders get experience by leading those. I still lead most of the time on Sunday mornings, but this year I’m planning on taking at least 6 off.

You can’t do this if you’re insecure. If you think your church really needs you, or if you’re concerned that if someone else leads worship then your congregation might forget about you, then you’ve fallen into unhealthy thinking. You have to be secure enough to step back and push others into the spotlight, so to speak. It’s more healthy for you, for your team, and for your congregation.

And you can’t do this if you’re needy. Without realizing it, you can begin to need to be needed, and if you’re not leading worship you feel like you have no purpose. This isn’t a good thing.

I remember meeting a worship leader at a church I visited while on vacation a few years ago (during one of my two weekends off). After a brief conversation with him, I said “I hope you get a couple of weekends off this summer”. Sadness fell over his face. He said “I wish”. It turns out that he was allowed – maybe – one weekend off per year.

For your sake and your church’s sake, make sure you’re getting regular breaks from worship leading. Even if you’re not going on vacation, schedule yourself to get a break. Your substitute might not be as polished, or they might even be better!, but just do it. It will keep you from getting burned out and it will keep your congregation from getting too dependent on you too.