Tag: Heart attitudes

Don’t Believe Your Own Hype

You have a fan club, whether you realize it or not.

Maybe it’s small. A few old ladies who think you’re just adorable and ask when you’re going to make a CD.

Or maybe it’s larger. Gushing Facebook posts, lots of Twitter followers, people recognize you at the grocery store, and your church bookstore carries your very own CD.

Most worship leaders are somewhere in between. You don’t have a CD to sell or Twitter followers of any substantial number, but you do have a significant number of people at your church who see you up front regularly, have an affinity for you, and think you’re much more terrific and wonderful than you actually are.

In any case, it can be tempting to start to believe the hype that naturally surrounds anyone who stands on a stage in a position of leadership and possesses musical gifts. Before you know it you’re demanding only Evian bottled water, yellow M&Ms, and the auditorium a constant 72.4 degrees (that’s in Fahrenheit for my European friends).

Don’t believe your own hype. It’s a slippery slope to arrogance and pride and there is nothing that will hinder your effectiveness in ministry more. God isn’t exaggerating when he warns us that he “opposes the proud” (James 4:6).

Here are three practical ways you can keep the “hype” around you in check.

Be approachable
Avoid the temptation to cloister yourself away in a back room before and after the service. Rock stars do this. Worship leaders shouldn’t. Be available and approachable before and after the service. This is an easy and tangible way to demonstrate to your congregation that you love them, and to deflate the inflation of your ego.

Be humble
For anyone seeking to pursue humility, C.J. Mahaney’s book Humility: True Greatness is an absolute must-read. You can read it in one evening, but if you’re smart, you’ll take some time to read through it and allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and help you see where you need to grow.

It’s easy to say “be humble” but it’s hard to do. “Pursue humility” is a much better way to phrase it. Every morning, every day, and every night, resist the fleshly pull toward pride. Laugh at yourself. Encourage and honor those around you. Remember your sinfulness. Rejoice in Jesus’ work of redeeming you and covering you with his blood. That’s the only thing worth boasting in.

We start to believe the hype when we believe there’s something about ourselves that’s worth boasting in. Unless that “thing” is the cross of Christ, we’re off base.

Be cross-centered
Paul writes in Ephesians 2:1-3,

“…you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience – among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”

You. We all. Our. By nature.

Verse 4:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”

But God. Two of the greatest words in all of scripture.

The hype tells us we’re wonderful and adorable and a really big deal. The cross tells us we were children of wrath but are now objects of God’s mercy.

As a worship leader, to be effective you have to be deflective. People will sinfully want to praise you. You’ll sinfully want to receive it and believe it. Don’t. Deflect the praise of man and direct your own need to make much of something great onto the One who is rich in mercy and worthy of every bit of hype we can muster.

Do Not Be Anxious About… Anything

There are a lot of things worship leaders can be anxious about before and/or during a service.

Your guitar string might break at just the wrong moment. The new song you’re teaching might totally bomb. You might make some mistakes. People might be zoned out and disengaged. The worship team might not sound any better than they did at rehearsal on Thursday night. Your sound guy might forget to turn on the amps again.

We all have different things we get anxious about before we lead worship. Either on Saturday night or Sunday morning when we wake up we begin looking to the worship service with dread and fear.

And we can get anxious during the service too. Maybe things just feel “off”. Maybe it’s your first time leading worship and you can tell you’re not as smooth as the other guys. Maybe someone said something critical to you. Maybe your sister is visiting from out of town and you’re wondering what she thinks.

My guess is that every Saturday night – across the world – there are thousands of worship leaders who are really really anxious about how the next morning will go. They don’t sleep very well and when they get to church the following day they’re a ball of nerves.

You might think: anxiety is normal. It’s impossible to not feel anxious before standing up in front of people, leading a band, and leading a congregation. What about on big days like Christmas Eve or Easter?

Here’s the problem: Philippians 4:4-7:

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Jesus himself said:

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ (Matthew 6:31)

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (6:34)

Is it really possible to not be anxious? Yes. Is it easy? No.

There’s a difference between feeling the weight of the responsibility with which we’ve been trusted (a good thing) and looking at Sunday mornings forgetting that Jesus is a factor (a bad thing).

If we’ve “by prayer and supplication” made our requests, our anxiety, and our needs “known to God”, then we should expect his peace and be content to not worry about the next morning until it comes. This shouldn’t sound cliché. It should sound reassuringly easy.

But if we’ve forgotten that Jesus is a factor – THE factor – and that he not only hears our prayers and intercedes on our behalf – but commanded us to not be anxious – and is Lord over all – then we shouldn’t be surprised when we experience crippling anxiety.

Pings of anxiety will always be present – some times more than others – but shouldn’t linger or fester. They’re an opportunity for humility, not hand-wringing. They’re a reminder of our need for God, an opportunity to bring our requests to him with thanksgiving that because of Jesus Christ there’s no condemnation, no reason to fear, no reason to worry about little things or big things, and every reason to relax.

This really does pass “all understanding”, and it’s something worship leaders should continually seek after: the ability to be filled with Jesus-centered and Spirit-empowered peace.

When Your Pastor Asks You to Drop a Song

Yesterday morning, about two hours before our 11:00am service, I got an email from the pastor who would be leading the service, asking me to drop one of the opening songs. Here’s what he said:

JB, Morning and a question.  We have the introduction of a Chinese delegation of pastors this morning, and several announcements and a video, and a really long reading, and JY doesn’t think he’ll be short (Melchizedek takes some ‘splaining).  In light of that I think we should drop one of the songs from the first set.  Does that work?  Can you zip me a reply on that so I know how to configure the other stuff?  Thanks, Dean.

I wrote back very simply:

Sure. No problem at all.

When your pastor asks you to drop a song, you should say “yes” every time.

Sure, I was looking forward to leading all four songs, and I thought doing all four songs helped the opening set be well-rounded and balanced. Part of me was bummed to have to cut one of them out. But, me being bummed doesn’t matter one bit. Submitting to my pastor(s), being a team player, and seeking to lead out of humility requires me to graciously do whatever I’m asked to do. Even dropping a song.

This doesn’t happen every week. It actually doesn’t happen very often. If it did happen regularly, it would probably be good to have a conversation about it during the week, and figure out exactly how much time we envision the different segments of a service taking. This would be the time and place to “push back” if it felt necessary. But a Sunday morning isn’t the time or place.

Worship leaders can quickly become territorial and protective of the time of singing as being “their time”. When that happens, requests to cut a song and/or shorten the time can be viewed as personal attacks warranting extreme defensive measures. This is a mistake and it will put you firmly on the pastor’s bad side. You don’t want to be there.

Get into the habit of reminding yourself the entire service is “worship”, and you just help lead one small part. Then it’s not so hard to say “yes” when and if it needs to be a little smaller.

Are You a Worship Diva?

Last Saturday as I was driving to church for our afternoon rehearsal and evening service, I was listening to an interview with Ricky Gervais (creator of “The Office”) on National Public Radio’s show “Studio 360”. At the very end of the interview, Ricky was asked what he thinks about his critics. His answer was striking. Here’s what he said:

“I’ve only ever tried to do one thing – and that’s please me and no one else in the world. I don’t care if anyone else likes anything I’ve ever done. I don’t care about critics. I don’t even care about the audience that I never see. I only care – did it turn out exactly as I wanted it? And if it is, I’ve won. You’re bulletproof. I don’t care about ratings or awards. I don’t care about box office. I’ll do this until someone says ‘you can’t have any more money to do stuff. No one cares. Everyone hates you.’ Bob Dylan said: ‘a man can consider himself a success if he wakes up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between he did exactly what he wanted.’ And that’s what I do.”

In other words, “I don’t care about pleasing anyone else other than me. I’m happy as long as I can do exactly what I want to do.”

I might be tempted to laugh at Ricky’s brazen self-centeredness if it weren’t for the fact that I think the same exact thing from time to time. Or every day.

I want what I want, I want to do it the way I want to do it, I want it to go exactly like I want it to go, I want to be pleased with what I did, I want to win, I want to be bulletproof, and I don’t want to hear any criticism.

That’s the flesh talking – which is why we can all recognize its voice as not being Ricky Gervais but just our sin nature. It’s ugly and it’s toxic. We need the Holy Spirit to fight it. And for those of us who lead worship, if we don’t fight it, we can quickly become worship divas.

I want to do the songs I want to do. I want them to sound like I want them to sound. I want the service to go exactly the way I want. I want a nice office and I want an impressive title. I know what I’m doing and I don’t need anyone’s suggestions or criticism. I’m happy when things go my way, and I like when I look good. As long as I can do what I want to do then everything is fine.

We all have that diva inside of us – Paul calls it “the works of the flesh” in Galatians 5:19 – and the only way to keep it from being let loose is to “walk by the Spirit” (5:16). Every week, every day, and especially every time I stand before a congregation to lead them in singing, I need the Holy Spirit’s help to keep me from wanting to get my way. With the Spirit’s help I’ll want his way.

Worship divas exist to serve themselves and their ego for their glory. Worship leaders exist to serve their church for God’s glory. Which are you? 

Get Off Your Perch

This morning I was asked to spend an hour leading and teaching on worship for a women’s retreat in Bethesda, Maryland. And this evening I’ll be sharing the same teaching with my church’s men’s ministry. It makes for a long day and a lot of hearing myself talk and sing, but having gone through the songs and teaching once this morning, I feel prepared and excited about this evening.

Over the last week or so I’ve spent a good deal of time preparing for the hour-long teaching I’m giving twice today, and I’ve been freshly reminded of my pride in one particular area (and it’s a safe bet a lot of worship leaders struggle with this too): thinking that teaching is easy.

Maybe it’s because I listen to a lot of sermons (sometimes three or four per weekend) and I can start to think it can’t be all that hard.

Maybe it’s because I assume that since I can choose, arrange, and lead a 25 minute block of songs with reasonable skill then it must mean I can give a 25 minute talk. Right?

Or maybe it’s because I think that if God has gifted me in one area (music) then I must be gifted in other areas (teaching).

Whatever the reason may be for thinking that teaching is easy, the problem with all of them is the same: arrogance.

Teaching is not easy. It is a serious responsibility and burden that God calls serious people to take seriously. Flippant worship leaders who sit on their perch Sunday after Sunday thinking otherwise are mistaken. And I’m afraid I might be sitting on that perch more often than I’d like to admit.

So my encouragement to myself and to other ways is to pray for your pastor, pray for those who stand before you to teach God’s word, be gracious and understanding towards them, and don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because you’re a worship leader it means you’re also fully equipped to teach. Maybe you are. But maybe you aren’t.

I’m grateful that yesterday afternoon as I sat with a blank legal pad on my lap, lamenting the fact that I had 16 hours to go until I had to get up in front of the women in Bethesda and still had no idea what I was going to say, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my foolishness, and made it clear I needed to confess it and ask for help. I’m excited about what God has given me to share.

I also hope that I’ve learned this lesson… If not, I pray that God will keep pointing out my foolishness.