Handling Awkward Moments – The “Over-Compliment”

fanWe’ve all been there. After the service someone comes to tell you, with tears in their eyes, how you “sing with the voice of a thousand angels” (I’m exaggerating a bit with that one) or “took us right into the holy places” or “brought God’s presence down”.

These people are well-intentioned – wanting to encourage and thank you for helping them encounter God in corporate worship – but they’re off base in their understanding of what a worship leader can and cannot do.

No worship leader can take any one “into the holy places.” That’s Jesus’ job.

No worship leader can “bring God’s presence down”. While there are certainly times we’re more aware of his presence, and times God is at work in more noticeable ways, God is always “present” with us (“Where can I go from your Spirit? (Psalm 139:7)).

There are a few ways to handle situations when someone offers you what I call an “over-compliment”. You have to discern which way is best depending on the person, the setting, what they say, etc.

Just say “thank you”
If someone tells me they think I sing with the voice of a thousand angels, it’s probably not a good idea for me to correct the person and say “well actually, Ma’am, I sing a bit flat a lot of the time, and when I can’t hear myself I can kind of sound like a thousand meowing cats”. I know that the compliment is over-the-top, but it’s generally best to just say “thank you” and let it go.

Gently correct them without making it terribly obvious
If someone tells me that I “really led [them] right to God’s throne” and I just smile and say “thank you”, I will send a message to that person that I agree with them. I don’t. So I’d probably say something like “I’m so glad you were aware of God’s presence this morning” or “what a gift to be able to approach God’s throne because of Jesus”. I’m not giving the person a lecture or seeking to reprimand them. First, I don’t have the time after a service to give a lecture, and secondly, they don’t need a reprimand. Instead, I’m seeking to gently correct their thinking by responding with God’s truth. Over time, this person will (hopefully) think about the role of a worship leader more biblically.

Take a minute to address the over-compliment
A few weeks ago, a woman offered me the mother of all over-compliments. I felt as though her compliment was insinuating that I was responsible for whether or not the congregation could encounter God. It wouldn’t have been appropriate for me to say “thank you”, and I couldn’t afford to let her keep thinking this way by offering only a subtle correction. So instead I asked her one or two questions so that I understood what she was saying. Once I did, I tried to politely and gently point out where she was a bit off-base. Afterwards she thanked me for helping her understand better how “it all works”. It’s not always so easy, but it’s worth a try.

The best preparation for handling over-compliments happens long before the service starts and long before you stand in front of a congregation. By intentionally and prayerfully seeking to grow in humility, you’ll be well-equipped to be able to judge when a compliment crosses the line between well-intentioned encouragement and misplaced worship.

Lessons Learned from This Weekend – Pt. I

mirrorFrom time to time, usually on Mondays, I think it might be helpful for me to post some reflections on the previous weekend’s services. Perhaps some ways I could have handled certain situations better, some specific ways God was at work through the music, or various other lessons learned (however major or minor). I’ll get it started this week with some situations that, looking back, I could have handled better.

Memorize the words
You would think that I would follow my own advice (“Put the Music Stand Away”) and spend some time during the week getting familiar with the songs so that I didn’t forget lyrics, fumble for the right chords, and come across as unprepared. I wish I had. This past Saturday night we used Andrew Peterson’s song “Invisible God” as a special song during the collection/offering time, and I mangled the first verse pretty bad. Oops. Lesson learned: I need to practice too.

Multi-tasking isn’t as easy as it seems
On Saturday night, in addition to leading the music, I also opened the service, led the time of prayer, and gave the announcements. The pastor who normally does this was on vacation, so he asked me to step in since I would be at the service anyway. I have to confess that I didn’t prepare for these responsibilities as thoroughly as I should have. At 4:45pm (15 minutes before the service started), I was trying to figure out what to say to welcome people, how to lead the prayers, etc. A few transitions were awkward, especially getting from the announcements to the offering. Lesson learned: Don’t ever wing it.

There are good ways to get your sound engineer’s attention and there are bad ways…
We had a crazy morning at my church with baptisms at both services, short transition times between them, and very little time for a sound check. In the midst of a noisy Sanctuary about 20 minutes before the service, I was having a difficult time getting the sound engineer’s attention, so I thought it made sense to yell “Andreeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!!!!”. There are about eighteen reasons why this is always a bad idea. Lesson learned: Never yell at your sound engineer. Sorry Andrew.

These are just a few of the lessons I (hopefully) am taking away from this past weekend. It’s good to look back and thank God for his guidance, his presence, and his grace – and pray that he’ll keep teaching me lessons each time I lead.

Do You “Worship” When You’re Not “Leading Worship”?

judgeLast week I enjoyed some great time off with my wife, visiting family in central and south Florida, and on Saturday night we went to a service at the church where my grandmother, aunt, uncle, and cousins are members.

It’s always refreshing for me to visit other churches – not having to pick the songs, not knowing what’s coming next, learning things, getting ideas, feeling what it’s like to be a visitor, etc.

It can also be a challenge for me to visit other churches – trying to not be critical, fighting pride, not comparing ways I think I could do a better job or ways I would do a worse job, etc.

I thought the worship leader and worship team did a great job at the service we attended. They were prepared, engaged, expressive, skillful, and tasteful. I had the joy of meeting the worship leader after the service and he was a kind and humble guy.

But going into the service, I had no idea what to expect. What if the worship team was unprepared, disengaged, made up of really weak musicians, and played really loud? What if the songs were poorly chosen? What if the worship leader had a lot of ticks? What if no one in my family sang along or was comfortable with being physically expressive?

As I drove to church with these questions on my mind, God reminded me that none of the questions mattered. Only one thing mattered: he is unceasingly and unconditionally worthy of worship – whether the band is good or the band is bad. Whether the songs are great or the songs are horrible. Whether the worship leader is experienced and skilled or inexperienced and riddled with ticks. He deserves my worship. God is not interested in picky worshipers who will only do so when all their preferences are catered to. Rather, these are the “…kind of worshippers the Father seeks. God is spirit and his worshippers must worship him in spirit and truth.” (John 4:23b, 24)

My guess is that all of us who have a role in leading corporate worship in our home churches could always grow in this area. It’s not a good sign if, when you’re not the one leading worship or visiting another church, you become Simon Cowell. “I would have done that differently.” “This is a dumb song.” “Why is that guy leading worship?” “I can’t hear the bass.” Fill in your own critical statement here.

It’s also not a good sign when you’re engaged in singing and worshipping God with passion and conviction when you’re up front – but then doing the exact opposite when you’re not.

God calls that pride – and he is clear on what pride will bring about. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2) “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) “‘Scoffer’ is the name of the arrogant, haughty man who acts with arrogant pride.” (Proverbs 21:24)

You and I will be fighting pride until the day we’re in heaven. Until then, it’s a good idea for us to pray for God to be making us humble, and making us worshipers who will worship him in Spirit and truth.

It was an incredibly freeing experience for me to turn off my critiquing, put aside my silly “what-if’s”, fix my eyes of the worthiness and glory of God, and sing to him from the congregation. Hopefully, by God’s grace, I’ll be a more humble and genuine worship leader because of it.

The Importance of Leaving Space

open_field_homepageOne common mistake that worship leaders make is failing to leave space either during or after songs. Instead of viewing that space as something that is biblical and helpful, it’s seen as either being awkward or a waste of time. So where the worship leader could just play for several measures after a chorus and allow room for the congregation to consider what they’ve just sung – he jumps in and talks the whole time. Or where there could be a time of silence after a song, the worship leader rushes on to the next one.

It’s helpful to leave space for a variety of reasons:

Sometimes I don’t know what else to do
Oftentimes I’ll get a sense as we’re singing that we should move in a direction I hadn’t planned. This could be going back to a verse we sang earlier, offering a word of encouragement, a prayer, skipping a song, singing a different song, highlighting a line we sang, etc. Other times I’ll get a sense that we should do something – I just don’t know what. I’m learning to not be afraid, when this happens, to just pause (I’ll usually play quietly) and wait for clearer direction. This gives me time to consider where the Holy Spirit might be leading, how to smoothly transition in that direction, and how to communicate it to the congregation and worship team. If some time has passed and I still don’t have a clear sense of what I should do, I’ll just move on in the direction I had planned.

Sometimes we need to think about what we’ve just sung before moving on
We can be singing amazing truths but be thinking about whether or not we like how the drummer is playing. Our minds can wander so far off during a song that we can get to the end and realize we weren’t even paying attention to the words that were coming out of our mouths. Leaving space after or during a song is one way to help re-focus on what we’re singing. A little bit of direction can be helpful, such as: “before we sing that verse again, let’s take a moment to allow the truth we’re singing – that all of our sin, every single one, is ‘nailed to the cross and (we) bear it no more’ – to sink in to our hearts”. A little of space here could go a long way.

For many people, the only time they’re ever “still” is on Sunday mornings
I would suspect this is true around the world – not just for people who live in the crazy pace of Washington D.C. Many people who walk into the service on Sunday morning have been going non-stop, making no time to be still and quiet before God since they left church the previous week (if they even made time for that!). I can serve these people by giving them an opportunity to experience a few minutes of stillness and quiet on Sunday morning.

After we’ve sung 4 or 5 songs, and before we sit to hear the scripture readings, I might say something like: “let’s be still for a few moments and allow God to speak to us” or I might not say anything at all.

If people aren’t comfortable being still before God in a church service, how can we expect them be comfortable with it at home? Intentionally leaving space is not only a good way to stretch yourself as a worship leader, but also a good way to stretch your congregation.

Leaving space is certainly a biblical value. In Psalm 62:1, David wrote: “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.” And throughout the Psalms, the word “Selah” appears, which was most likely a direction to stop and consider what was just sung. David prayed in Psalm 131:1-2, “O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

It’s good to leave space in our times of corporate worship to “calm” and “quiet” our souls before God. Rushing through the songs does a disservice to the congregation in the long run because it makes periods of “calm” and “quiet” look like wasted time.

The main reason why I think most worship leaders make the mistake of failing to leave space is that it makes them nervous. We think that if we leave some silence at the end of the song then everyone will either be really bored or staring at us wondering how long it will last. We’re afraid that if we pause after a verse then everyone will think we’ve forgotten the lyrics. If this is you, I’d suggest two things: First, pray that God would fill you with his Spirit when you lead – reminding you that “…God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (I Timothy 1:7) Secondly, practice stillness with your congregation. The only way people will get used to “space” is by experiencing it. It might be awkward for some at first, but through your sensitive and strong leadership, they’ll grow in it and learn to value it.

In Defense of Musical Diversity

Last week, my wife Catherine (who I’m currently enjoying a week-long vacation with in Florida) passed along a blog post which was written by Kevin DeYoung, the Senior Pastor of University Reformed Church in East Lansing, Michigan. He’s also an author and a blogger, and he recently wrote a blog post titled “In Defense of Musical Diversity“. I found it helpful and I think you will too:

In Defense of Musical Diversity
By Kevin DeYoung

I am not a fan of the word diversity. It’s not that I am against experiencing different cultures, tastes, and personalities. It’s that I don’t know what people mean when they say “diversity.” Depending on whom you talk to, diversity includes everything from relativism to racial harmony to unrestrained personal expression. Diversity is a buzz word that embraces many good ideas, but has become synonymous with a lot of silly ideas too.

So I am not enamored with the (overused) word “diversity.” Nevertheless, I want to defend diversity in one important area: the songs that we sing in church. I believe it very good for our churches to sing songs from different eras, traditions, and styles.

Before I highlight four types of songs in particular, let me make four general comments. First, the songs that we sing in corporate worship must be biblically and theologically sound. No song gets a free pass just because its “diverse.” No matter how brilliant or moving or catchy the music, if the words stink, we shouldn’t sing it.

This leads to a second related comment. While we want to sing deep, theologically rich songs in our worship–songs about election, the Trinity, the atonement, God’s sovereignty–we don’t need to sing all of our theology in every song. To be sure, we don’t want lyrics to be misleading or present half-truths, but we can sing simple truths. If all we sing are the most basic biblical truths, we are not doing justice to the whole counsel of God, but even a meal with roast and mashed potatoes needs a side salad and some jello. In other words, there’s nothing wrong with singing “Jesus Loves Me” or “We Love You Lord” or “God is Good All the Time.” These may not plumb the theological depths, but they do speak biblical truths and do so with childlike trust. Songs with 101-level truths should not be the staple of our musical diet, but they should be on our plate.

Third, the quest for musical diversity should not remove the particularity of a church’s worship. That is, it’s ok for Oakdale Community Church to be Oakdale Community, for First Baptist to be First Baptist, for worshipers in a remote Indian village to worship like, well, Indians. One of the problems with diversity as it’s sometimes construed is that it actually works against genuine diversity. Instead of people groups or churches enjoying their distinctiveness, they dabble (superficially usually) in every other culture. The result is that, in the name of diversity, every church or people ends up looking like the same multicultural experiment.

But let me hasten to add a final general comment. While it is wholly appropriate for a church to have a musical “center,” this does not mean we should only sing from that “center.” As I heard a speaker say recently, it’s fine (and inevitable) for a church to have a culture and tradition, but we must recognize that we have a culture lest we become enslaved to it. What I am arguing for is something in between the cutting edge and the status quo. On the one hand, churches need to sing familiar songs if the congregational singing is to be hearty and engaged. On the other hand, churches need to be pushed to learn new songs outside their “center.” As D.A. Carson puts it, “The importance of intelligibility (in music, let us say) must therefore be juxtaposed with the responsibility to expand the limited horizons of one narrow tradition.”

With that in mind, and in pursuit of a right kind of diversity, let me mention four different “traditions” of songs that we should be (and are, I think) singing.

Psalms
The Psalms have been the church’s songbook for two thousand years. They are also inspired by God and intended to be sung. It is sad, therefore, that so few churches in North America regularly sing Psalms. Some Christians groups sing only Psalms. That goes too far in my opinion, but inclusive Psalmnody is a grand idea. Singing the Psalms keeps us real as they give expression to the full range of human emotion–lament, joy, anguish, doubt, hope, longing, confusion, jubilation, contrition, and fear. The words of Carl Trueman, in his delightful essay “What Can Miserable Christians Sing?” are worth pondering: “By excluding the cries of loneliness, dispossession, and desolation from its worship, the church has effectively silenced and excluded the voices of those who are themselves lonely, dispossessed, and desolate, both inside and outside the church.” The Psalms are what miserable Christians can sing.

Hymns
“Hymns” is a broad category in which are dozens of different styles and traditions. I use the term loosely to refer to the songs we find in hymnals–songs from Wesley, Watts, and Winkworth (look her up; she may be in your hymnal a lot); songs from the early church, the Reformation, and the Great Awakening; songs from monks, Puritans, and evangelists. Hymns are not perfect (e.g., “my faith has found a resting place not in device nor creed”), but they have at least three advantages over newer songs.

One, hymns, because hymnals have notes on a page and because their melodies are more geared for keys on a piano as opposed to a note in a guitar chord, are often more singable by large groups.

Two, hymns, because they have been around for decades and usually centuries, have undergone more weeding out. The chaff has been sifted and the wheat has remained. If Christians have sung a song for 1500 years, chances are there’s something good about it. Most hymns are simply better musically, lyrically, and theologically than most newer songs.

Third, hymns link us with the past and the communion of the saints from all generations. Hymns guard us against our cultural blindspots and historical idiosyncracies.

Contemporary Songs
Like “hymns,” “contemporary songs” is a term so broad as to be almost meaningless. By contemporary music I mean chronologically, songs written since I’ve been alive; stylistically, songs you might hear on the radio; and musically, songs that probably use guitar, drums, keyboard or some combination thereof. Many conservative Christians, including some I really respect, can be very hard on contemporary music–calling it happy clappy music, or 7-11 songs (7 words sung 11 times), or me-centered theology. Undoubtedly, you can find new songs to fit all those put-downs. But there are good reasons for singing new contemporary songs (which are sometimes just old hymns put to newer music–like some of the Passion songs and the entire RUF movement). Not only do newer songs sometimes give voice to a younger generation’s way of expression, they can be powerfully true and theologically rich. One thinks of songs like Matt Redman’s “Blessed be Your Name,” or Towend and Getty’s “In Christ Alone,” or Graham Kendrick’s “Knowing You” or the stuff from Sovereign Grace. In fact, some of the contemporary songs are actually quite hymnic.

No generation of Christians has the right to stop including new songs. Imagine if the church stopped singing new songs after the Reformation just because the songs were new. No “And Can it Be,” no “Amazing Grace,” no “Holy, Holy, Holy.” What a pity! Thankfully, the last meaty, good song for corporate worship has not yet been written. And thanfully, the worship music today is more mature, more God-centered, and more singable than it was a decade or two agoa.

Non-Anglo Songs
This category is completely artificial I admit. There is no “non-Anglo” tradition of music. There are Spanish songs and Zulu chants and African-American spirituals, but these are traditions all their own, deserving of a name that is much more than just a description of what they are not–non-Anglo. But even using this clumsy category I think you can understand my point. We should be singing songs that aren’t from the majority culture at our churches (writing from my perspcetive as a white man from a majority white church).

Singing non-Anglo songs (with translation if necessary) is good for us not only because it broadens our horizons, but because we are not all white Anglo-Saxons! We may not ever sing “just like the black church downtown,” or “just like my church back in Nigeria.” That’s not the point. I am not embarrassed that I like Isaac Watts, but neither should I be embarrassed to clap along with a spiritual or stumble my way through a Spanish chorus. Singing these songs has many benefits. It guards us against resting smugly in our own tradition or preferences; it reminds us that God is a God of all peoples; and it gives voice to other traditions in our midst.

I am not arguing for a mechanical implementation of Psalms, hymns, contemporary songs, and non-Anglo songs. We should not make one week Psalms and another week non-Anglo songs, and we don’t have to get all four categories in every service. But singing from these four traditions, as we often do, is good for our church, not least of all because no one can claim absolutely “they use my kind of music here.” Then, Christ–sung in our songs, called up in our prayers, and heralded in the preaching–will be the glue that holds us together, and not music. That’s the kind of unity in diversity worth celebrating.