Someone has free tickets to sit behind home base at a baseball game and they want you to join them. Someone has a beach house they can’t use and they want you to have the week for free. Someone has a voucher for a free meal at the finest steak house in the area and they want to treat you.
Being invited by someone you trust to join them somewhere you’d like to go is one of life’s greatest gifts. We all love a good invitation. It’s hard to turn a good invitation down.
Worship leading, at its core, is an invitational role. We stand before our congregations with an invitation behind every song, every arrangement, and every service. The invitation is to look, to consider, to behold, to cherish, to savor, to sing about, to celebrate, and to respond to a God who has revealed himself to us, rescued us through his Son, and sealed us with his Spirit.
Our tone, our countenance, and our approach should be inviting. Not demanding, not rote, not passive, not preachy, not cutesy, and not flippantly. We want our congregations to get the feeling from us that we’re inviting them to join us as we worship God. This gives them freedom to respond in their own way, with their own personality, at their own pace, and from their own heart. But it also gives them a gentle nudge. Yes, people need nudging. But they need to know they’re loved and safe before you even try. Within the context of an invitational style of leadership, you can provide this safety and nudging at the same time.
An invitational style also gives people the freedom to say “no, I won’t lift my hands” or “no, I don’t want to clap” or “no, I don’t think I want to sing, thank you very much”. It’s important for the stragglers, the depressed, the bereaved, and the atheists to stand under your worship leading and not feel guilty for not meeting your expectations.
Leading worship with an invitational tone communicates a love for Jesus, a love for people, a longing for them to join you, a gentle nudging to go further than they’ve gone before, and a freedom for them to be who they are. We all love good invitations. But none of us like having no choice but to say yes.
So consider your own heart when you stand before people, or when you sit down to a piano or organ, and you lead people in worship. Start with yourself. Draw near to Jesus and worship him from your heart. Then invite others to join you with a confidence, winsomeness, clarity, and freedom that will be hard for people to resist.
We’ve all experienced that awkward moment when someone tries to say something nice about you but you take it as an insult. You’re not quite sure how to take it, how to respond, or how to process what they’ve said.
Several years ago I was having a conversation with someone I knew fairly well, and this person attempted to encourage me about my worship leading by saying: “Jamie, the thing about your worship leading is that no one walks away from one of your services thinking to themselves ‘wow, he’s a great musician‘”.
Um… thanks?
I know what the person was trying to say. I know the heart behind it. They were trying to say that I didn’t draw attention to myself. There is no higher compliment that can be paid to a worship leader than that. The problem wasn’t with what they said or even how they said it. The problem was with my heart: I wanted my musicianship to be admired.
I didn’t want my musicianship to be admired too much, of course. But I didn’t want my musicianship to be admired too little, either. And that was what I was afraid was happening. I was afraid that people didn’t appreciate me for the musician that I am. And I’m sure you can’t relate to what I’m saying at all.
Yeah right.
We can’t blame it on our artistic temperament. We can blame it on our sinful nature. We want to be the ones lifted high and exalted. And so we feed our desire for adoration with a sometimes-subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle attitude from the platform that basically says to the congregation “and now please admire my musicianship”. While I play this solo, while I do this postlude, while I play five instruments in one service, while I use six different tunings on one song, while I do a three-minute song introduction, while I do this song in a key that’s terrible for most voices but amazing for mine, while I sing this song that no one could ever sing along to and that’s kind of the point, or while I fill all the musical spaces instead of letting someone else.
And so on. We can get really good at doing little things to help people remember and appreciate that they’re really quite fortunate to hear us every Sunday. Lord, have mercy!
When my friend said those encouraging words to me and I took them as an insult, the Holy Spirit was putting his finger on an area of recurrent pride, that if not called out and killed, will grow into a ministry-destroying monster. It’s like those pesky weeds outside my house that never want to go away. I can either feed them or I can destroy them. There’s not really a third option.
Of course you’d never think of actually saying the words “and now please admire my musicianship” on a Sunday morning. That’s too blatantly egotistical! But those might be the very words you send without even realizing it.
Examine yourself. Simplify your leadership. You don’t need to do, in one service, all that you’re capable of doing. You don’t need to operate within the full parameters of your musical gifting every Sunday. No one needs to know how versatile you are. Is that glissando really necessary or do just want to sound awesome? Tie one hand behind your back if you need to. Whatever it takes.
May it be said of us very often: no one walks away from our services thinking “wow, what a great musician”. They walk away thinking “wow, what a great God”. We have got to decrease, my friends. For God’s sake, we must.
What do you do as a worship leader when you’re all of ideas? Particularly when picking songs for yet another service seems to be next to impossible? Here are some suggestions:
Take a vacation
One sign of burn-out is mental fatigue. Take a break. Take one or two Sundays off in a row. Do whatever you have to do to get away. Visit a good church. Or (gasp) sleep in.
Buy a bunch of new worship CDs Have you listened to Matt Redman’s “Your Grace Finds Me“, or The Gospel Coalition’s “Songs from the Book of Luke” or Keith and Kristyn Getty’s new live album, or Dustin Kensrue’s “The Water and the Blood“, or Sovereign Grace’s “Grace Has Come” or Indelible Grace’s “Joy Beyond the Sorrow” (from last year), or Paul Baloche’s “The Same Love“? Even if you listen to all of these and only take away 2 songs you could teach your congregation, you’ll still have a lot of new arrangement ideas, and melodies floating around in your head that help you feel more fresh.
Find time for personal worship When I’m feeling all out of ideas, many times that means I need to sit down with my guitar or at a piano and just begin to play music and articulate praise to God. Your public ministry has to be an overflow from your private life or else you’ll be operating on fumes.
See/hear/ask what other churches are doing If you know other worship leaders at different churches, send them a note and ask them what they’ve done recently (songs, or other ideas) that’s really clicked with their congregations. Maybe it’s a terrible idea. But maybe it’s a good one. And you should’t be ashamed to use it and adapt it in your setting.
Stretch your brain Go to a conference, read a theological book, or take a seminary class (there are a bunch of options online if you don’t live near a good one). Ask if your church will pay for this out of their continuing education budget. They should! You being out of ideas is an invitation to fill your brain and your heart with a new supply of concepts, techniques, history, terminology, and bible.
Lean on your team Invite your worship team over to your house for a half-day retreat on a Saturday. Feed them breakfast and then come together for a couple of hours before adjourning at lunch. Laugh, worship, and pray together, and then put some huge white paper up on the walls. Have a group conversation about where your worship ministry has been, where it is now, where it’s going, and what God is saying. You’ll get some tangents and some random comments, but you’ll also get a lot of good insight from people who are a bit more able to look at things from a 50,000 foot view than you.
Take a deep breath An awful lot of worship leaders feel a pressure to perform, to be super creative, to be edgy, to be relevant, to be hipster, to be up on all the new stuff, to be musically inventive, and to get results on Sunday mornings. It’s not that being any of those is bad, or that hoping for fruitful worship leading is wrong, but when we allow the pursuit of creativity or ingenuity to have power over us, then we’ve gone too far. Focus on being faithful to Jesus, faithful to the proclamation of the Gospel, and faithful to your congregation. Sometimes when you think you’re out of ideas all you actually need to do is keep drawing from the same well again and again and again.
My wife, Catherine, and I have 2 little girls at home (4 and 2 ½) and one on the way this Christmas. Our house is wonderfully full of noise, toys, crayons, random socks, baby dolls, shoes, and dirty dishes. Every night we attempt to clean it up again and every day our two little tornadoes carve their path of destruction again. We have a great time together.
When I come home from work, or when I have a day off, I can either take my worship leader hat completely off and focus on cleaning the house, getting the girls to help, putting them to sleep, running errands, doing fun outings, and matching up random socks, or I can try to find ways to keep my worship leader hat partially on while doing all of the above. If my calling is to lead people in worship on Sundays, then certainly that calling isn’t suspended during the week when I’m at home.
I don’t have a ton of experience yet, since our oldest is only four, but by God’s grace, I’ve been able to achieve a certain level of success at leading my kids (and wife in the process) to worship Jesus as we go about our lives together at home or in the minivan or in the grocery store. Here are some practical tips:
Sing a lot
When you’re driving the car or scrubbing a dish or sweeping up a gazillion cheerios off the kitchen floor, put a song of praise on your lips. “God is So Good” or the chorus of “Ten Thousand Reasons” or “Jesus Paid it All” or whatever. It doesn’t matter. Get in the habit of singing simple songs or choruses of praise out loud in the spaces that come up during a day. You will be permeating the atmosphere of your home with worship, and it will not only cover your family, but it will get into their hearts like little seeds, and those seeds will blossom in surprising ways in the years to come.
Make it a routine
Every night after our kids are in their PJs and have their teeth brushed, they sit on my lap for stories, songs, and prayers. They each pick one book, then I tell them some stories (the list of “must-haves” keeps growing), and then we each sing a “worship song”. It can be anything “to God or about God” (my rule). Sometimes they sing something that’s recognizable, and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I hear something about how God wears sparkly shoes, or something about Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I’m not too strict. Then we take turns praying to God, and every few weeks I just need to remind them that Jesus is a real person, so we can talk to him like he’s in the room with us (because he is).
Making a few worship songs part of your nightly ritual is a good idea for many reasons. First, kids love rituals. Second, it gives you accountability (once it becomes a ritual they won’t let you “forget”). Third, it means that one of the last things to happen in your family every day is singing songs of worship to God. What could be better? Fourth, it gets them used to articulating praise to God. It makes it normal for them.
Don’t make it too religious
About that nightly ritual: if they start to goof around and stick their feet in your face, don’t turn all grumpy and mean and insist that they behave themselves and act like perfect little cherubs. For goodness sake, they’re kids. Don’t make it too serious or they won’t look forward to it. But make sure they know that Jesus is actually listening, and that this is one of the most important parts of the day.
Capitalize on the “I’m scared” moments
Every kid eventually cries out after you leave their room, or in the middle of the night, or when they’re playing alone in a room, that they’re scared. Somehow they pick up on the idea that being scared is a thing, and so whether it’s just being alone, or a shadow, or a bad dream, they cry out for a parent to come back to their room because they’re scared.
This is a prime opportunity to teach your kids the power of worship. Yes, go to them. Yes, ask what’s wrong. But instead of another stuffed animal, or staying in their room until they fall asleep, or turning the light on and looking in their closet for the monster, or another cup of milk, practice telling them that when they’re scared they can worship Jesus.
Why? Because Jesus is the one who keeps them safe. Because Jesus is like a lion who lives inside of them, and when they worship him he roars and scares all the scary things away. Because when we worship Jesus he reminds us that he’s always with us even when our parents are in the living room. Tell your children this. Model it to them. Use the “I’m scared” moments as golden opportunities to point your kids to the power of Jesus and the power of worship.
Some of the most beautiful moments I’ve had with my kids so far have come when I stand outside their room and hear their quivering voices singing themselves to sleep with “Jesus Loves Me”. And it slowly teaches me to let go of my girls and trust them to Jesus who loves them more than even I do.
Keep them in church for the opening worship
If you’re in a church that asks you to keep your kids with you for the first part of the service until they’re dismissed, then be grateful. If you’re in a church with a more traditional model of dropping them off for the whole service, then consider keeping them with you until after the singing is over if possible, particularly if you’re at a church with an opening block of singing. Long readings, silence, or liturgy can be tough in long stretches for little kids. This teaches little ones how to behave in church, it shows them that they’re part of something bigger, and it gives them a chance to sing along with a whole bunch of other people who love Jesus.
Put it on in your home
We’re big fans of the Slugs and Bugs albums that mix scripture, silliness, good melodies, sibling love, parental affection, and the gospel in short singable songs. We also like to put worship music on in the car, or in the house when the kids are playing or coloring or eating breakfast. You’ll notice the spiritual temperature in your house change when you have worship music playing. I’m a big fan of Randall Goodgame’s new verses to “Jesus Loves Me” (on this album) which balance the fact that Jesus loves me when I’m good and when I’m bad.
Sing over your kids
One of my favorite songs to sing over my daughters is the old John Wimber Vineyard songs “The Spirit Song”. I sing this at every bed time.
Oh let the Son of God enfold you with His Spirit and his love
Let Him fill your heart and satisfy your soul
Oh let him have the things that hold you and his Spirit like a dove
Will descend upon your life and make you whole.
And then the refrain:
Jesus, oh Jesus, come and fill Your lambs…
What a great prayer to sing over your kids as the day draws to a close. Yes, feel free to sing silly songs and “Old MacDonald” and “Twinkle Twinkle”, but don’t miss out on the chance to sing worship songs to God over your children.
Encourage singing as a normal expression of love
When you as a parent sing love songs to your kids, about how beautiful and special and smart and creative they are, they begin to learn that singing is a normal expression of love. When you take the next step and sing love songs to Jesus, about how strong and wonderful and caring and forgiving he is, they begin to learn that singing to Jesus is a normal expression of love as well.
I wish I could share all of the little worship songs my little girls have made up on the spot. There have honestly been so many that I’ve become accustomed to them. It starts with the parents, and it starts with Dad. If you sing over your kids, if you sing to the Lord, and if you make it normal and fun and safe, then you’ll be on your way to leading worship at home (and washing a lot of dishes too).
It was a normal day at my job at my church several years ago, and at the usual time I packed up my things to drive home. I got in my car parked along East Fairfax Street and proceeded to the stop sign at Lee Highway where, like I did 5 other days a week, I waited for traffic to clear before I turned left across traffic.
I got to the stop sign, which was set significantly set back from Lee Highway, where I stopped behind an SUV who was stopped in front of the stop sign. When traffic cleared, he turned left, and then I turned left. And that’s when I saw the flashing lights in my rear-view mirror.
I pulled over, curious as to what I had done wrong, and the police officer informed me that I had run the stop sign. I was shocked. I was sure I had stopped, and I told him so. He was not convinced, and proceeded to accuse me of lying to his face and misrepresenting the truth, and encouraged me to just admit I was guilty and pay the (substantial) fine.
So I sat there feeling guilty and accused and confused. Should I just pay the fine and admit my guilt? Or should I wait two months, with the accusations hanging over my head, and go to court to fight the charge? I chose the latter option.
So a couple of months later I went through the humbling ordeal of giving up an entire morning, sitting and waiting in court, surrendering my cell phone and keys (like a guilty person) at the door, and waiting for my chance to defend myself.
One by one, person after person approached the judge, pleaded their case, offered their defense, and were turned away with the pronouncement “guilty” declared over them. They turned and walked out, defeated, deflating the spectators hope of having any better luck.
Finally my name was called and I proceeded to the bench. My accuser (the police officer) went first, declaring my guilt for all the room to hear, describing my (alleged) offense, how I had insisted I hadn’t done anything wrong and how he was certain I had. He was convincing.
The judge turned to me and permitted me to speak.
“Your honor”, I said, “as you can see in this diagram”, (I had brought a diagram of the intersection in question), “the stop sign at East Fairfax Street and Lee Highway is significantly set back from Lee Highway. And as you can see from Google Street View”, (I had brought print outs from Google Street View), “there is substantial room in front of the stop sign before a car enters Lee Highway. Your honor, when I approached this stop sign, I obeyed the law and stopped. However, an SUV was stopped in front of the stop sign. When traffic cleared, the SUV made a left hand turn, and then so did I. I will remind you that I had indeed stopped at the sign. However, I didn’t stop after the stop sign”.
I proceeded to drive the point home: “Your honor, I am not aware of any law that demands that a car must stop after a stop sign if there is a car stopped after a stop sign. I believe the law states that you must stop at a stop sign not after. So, if I am guilty of any crime, I would be guilty of not stopping a second time after having stopped at a stop sign”.
The room was silent. The judge looked at my accuser and asked if he had anything to add. “No, your honor” he said.
I asked if I could add one more thing. (I was going to ask if the police officer had been moving or stationary when he observed my alleged crime). “No, you may not, Mr. Brown!” the judge roared. “Case dismissed. Not guilty!”
It took a few seconds for my brain to process what had just happened. Then I began to realize that the impossible had happened: I had been declared innocent. My shock gave way to deep relief and giddy joy. The silence in the court room turned to enthusiastic chatter as the onlookers were amazed at what had just transpired. It was possible to be found not guilty! Amazing! Their faces were hopeful and the mood in the room had changed as I turned and walked out a free man.
I was the king of the world for the rest of the day. I shared my innocence (and my brilliant legal prowess) with anyone who would listen. I was euphoric. The burden (and several hundred dollars and points on my license) had been removed. I felt free.
Is there any better pronouncement in the world than “not guilty“? Is there anything more freeing? In a world full of accusations and burdens and law, the sweet sound of grace, the relief of mercy, and the joy of pardon is unmatchable.
Our services should shout this good news of the gospel over people Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. In Christ you are not guilty, in Christ you’ve been lavished with unlimited grace, and in Christ you have been pardoned and declared innocent. This is the sweetest pronouncement our ears can ever hear.
If our worship services, if our worship leading, if our song selection, and if our music doesn’t point clearly and consistently to the final verdict of “not guilty” pronounced over us because of Jesus’ work on the cross in our place, then we should just close up shop. Not every song should say it the same way, not every service should emphasize it identically, and not every worship leader will communicate it like the other. But, for God’s sake, use your platform, use your microphones, use your fancy graphics, use your organ, use your choir anthems, use your bell choir, use your electric guitar solo to highlight, underscore, emphasize, proclaim, repeat, and declare the good news of the gospel: your accuser is a liar, you are not guilty, and you’re free to go.
Make it clear. Don’t make people have to search for it hidden in a vague reference or mumbo jumbo or small print. Let it be known clearly and powerfully and unmistakably what God has done for us in Jesus Christ.
Don’t you like a good invitation?
We’ve all experienced that awkward moment when someone tries to say something nice about you but you take it as an insult. You’re not quite sure how to take it, how to respond, or how to process what they’ve said.
It was a normal day at my job at my church several years ago, and at the usual time I packed up my things to drive home. I got in my car parked along East Fairfax Street and proceeded to the stop sign at Lee Highway where, like I did 5 other days a week, I waited for traffic to clear before I turned left across traffic.
Worthily Magnify 