Good Old Bulletin Bloopers – Pt. 2

You’ve probably seen these before, but I can never get enough of them. Enjoy:

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Chili Supper, Money goes to missions. $5 a bowel.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage – 6 p.m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”

Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an Ice Cream Social. All ladies giving milk please come early.

“At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.”

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward and get a piece of paper. 

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the Altar.  

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