Category: Heart attitudes

Give Yourself a Break

For many years, too many years in fact, I led worship way too often.

Starting in the Fall of 2006 when my church started a Saturday service, I was the primary worship leader for the Saturday 5:00pm service and the Sunday 11:00am service. Two services a weekend. I would get a free Sunday the weekend after Easter when our student worship team would lead, and I would take two weekends off somewhere in the summer. Three weekends off per year.

So, I was picking songs, leading rehearsal, up front, and leading worship 49 weekends a year. And since we were doing two services each weekend, that means I was leading worship 108 times a year. This doesn’t count monthly healing services, Wednesday staff meetings, and other services and events. But you get the idea. It was way too much.

It was unhealthy for me. It burns you out after leading that many times in a row. You don’t feel fresh anymore. You don’t lead fresh anymore. Everything starts to blur. You get tired of choosing songs. You get tired of leading rehearsal. You lose energy. You fall into ruts. You get predictable. You get safe. Worst of all, you start thinking that your church would fall apart if you were to leave.

It was unhealthy for my worship team. It didn’t give other worship leaders in the church a chance to lead. There might have been an occasional spot for them for a men’s or women’s ministry event, but I wasn’t giving people an opportunity to get experience leading worship in the context of a service. I was hogging 108 opportunities all for myself.

It was unhealthy for my church. Whether they realized it or not, I was fostering an unhealthy dependence on me leading worship, so that when I did rarely get a service off, it was more disruptive than it should have been. If I really did mean what I prayed – that I would decrease and God would increase – then why wouldn’t I take a very practical step toward decreasing and get myself off of the platform more often?

I have resolved to push other worship leaders in my church into at least half of the 108 yearly opportunities. I lead worship very seldom on Saturday nights now. Other worship leaders take turns, sometimes by themselves, and sometimes with a band. I lead healing services very seldom now. Other worship leaders get experience by leading those. I still lead most of the time on Sunday mornings, but this year I’m planning on taking at least 6 off.

You can’t do this if you’re insecure. If you think your church really needs you, or if you’re concerned that if someone else leads worship then your congregation might forget about you, then you’ve fallen into unhealthy thinking. You have to be secure enough to step back and push others into the spotlight, so to speak. It’s more healthy for you, for your team, and for your congregation.

And you can’t do this if you’re needy. Without realizing it, you can begin to need to be needed, and if you’re not leading worship you feel like you have no purpose. This isn’t a good thing.

I remember meeting a worship leader at a church I visited while on vacation a few years ago (during one of my two weekends off). After a brief conversation with him, I said “I hope you get a couple of weekends off this summer”. Sadness fell over his face. He said “I wish”. It turns out that he was allowed – maybe – one weekend off per year.

For your sake and your church’s sake, make sure you’re getting regular breaks from worship leading. Even if you’re not going on vacation, schedule yourself to get a break. Your substitute might not be as polished, or they might even be better!, but just do it. It will keep you from getting burned out and it will keep your congregation from getting too dependent on you too.

Worship Leader Nightmares

Last night I had one of those dreams – one of those worship leaders nightmares – when the service is starting and the congregation is assembled but I am absolutely unprepared. In this particular dream it was one of our biggest services of the year, Lessons and Carols, and when it came time to sing a song, everything fell apart.

The congregation stared and waited. I was leading from the keyboard and it was too low for me to reach. I tried to play it but I couldn’t. The band was confused. The congregation was murmuring. I asked someone to help me raise the keyboard. They tried to help me and knocked all my music over. The congregation was now totally disengaged. I got set up again and started to try the song, but one of those webpage-like advertisements covered up the chord chart. Yes, that’s right. A digital pop-up ad was all of the sudden on my chord chart. So I stopped and waited. Then tried again. Then mercifully one of our baby girls crying woke me up.

Do you ever get these dreams? If you’re a worship leader I bet you do. They always a bit different but they share the basic horrifying premise: you’re on stage, the congregation is looking at you, and you are failing. You’re not ready, you’re not doing a good job, and every one knows it.

I try not to read too much into dreams. When I dream about a bunny rabbit talking to me in French while we both travel the Mexican coastline in a minivan, I don’t usually try to unpack the prophetic meaning or see what God is trying to tell me. Weird dreams just happen.

But dreams can tell us something about where we’re anxious and where we’re insecure. If you’re a student, you’ll probably have dreams about showing up for your final exam without ever having attended the class. If you’re a doctor, you’ll probably dream about misdiagnosing a patient or making a terrible mistake. Worship leaders don’t have lives at stake or the danger of failing a class, but we do have to “perform” to a certain degree each time we lead. We have to execute certain up-front responsibilities like talking, singing, leading a band, making transitions, etc. And the prospect of showing up without any clothes on or with all of our songs suddenly required to be sung in Chinese rightfully terrifies us.

Here is where I’m going with this: First, if you’re a worship leader, you’re not the only one who gets these kinds of dreams. So be comforted. And maybe leave a comment affirming that this is true for our mutual benefit. Second, every time you have one of these dreams (once a week anyone?), make a default assumption that it’s God’s way of revealing anxiety and stress in you that you need to deal with. Sure, it might be a random dream. But it also might just be God’s way of graciously exposing your fear of man.

God knows your dreams, believe it or not. Some are just your brain processing nonsense. Others might be a bit more telling. My dream last night tells me this: I’m afraid of making a fool of myself. I struggle with this fear on a semi-regular basis. I need God’s peace. I need to repent of my desire to be perfect. I need to trust even more in Jesus. And maybe, after all that, take a ride along the Mexican coast in a minivan. But not with the bunny rabbit. I don’t speak French.

Title Trivia

How concerned are you with what people call you?

Worship Leader. Worship Pastor. Worship Director. Music Coordinator. Worship and Music Director. Director of Worship and Music and Arts. Lead Worshipper. Assistant Worship Director. Associate Director of Worship and Music. Executive Director of Worship and Associate Director of Music and Assistant Director of Arts.

The list could go on.

I used to be really concerned with my title. It mattered to me – a lot – what it said on the bottom of my email signature. I felt more important when I was promoted from a part time worship leader to a “coordinator of contemporary music”. Then a couple years later I felt slighted when the title “associate” was given to someone else who I didn’t think deserved it.

What a stupid thing to be concerned about.

One day I was brushing my teeth and God spoke these words to me (by the way, God often speaks to me when I’m brushing my teeth. Don’t ask me why): “Would you be just as faithful in your ministry if your title was ‘custodian’?” I was convicted. I had to honestly answer him, no. But I wanted to be. I wanted to be just as passionate about my job regardless of whether or not my title is grandiose. Then God spoke these words of assurance to me: “Jamie, my name for you never changes”.

Wow. Here I was, a just-out-of-college part-time worship leader, and the sovereign God of all creation is calling me out on my petty and prideful obsession over what title goes on my business card.

If the Apostle Paul had an email signature, his title might read “Paul. Chief of Sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15). Or maybe “Paul. Servant of Christ.” (Romans 1:1). His identity was completely wrapped up in his position in Christ. Sadly, too often our identity as worship leaders is more wrapped up in our position on a staff chart.

To help keep me from getting too carried away about my title, I’ve purposely started referring to myself as “one of the music guys”. Sometimes I’ll say “I lead some of the music at my church”. I don’t have my title on my email signature. I don’t have business cards. I try to do everything I can not to get wrapped up in whatever title is given to me by the church.

Sure, titles matter. They signify what role your church has designated and authorized you to fill. They back you up. They help on a resume’. They tell people what you do and what you don’t do.

But they just don’t matter that much. First, they certainly don’t matter to God. Secondly, they don’t matter to your congregation. I bet 99% of the people in your congregation don’t know and don’t care what your title is. Third, they don’t matter to you. God calls and equips you, then he sovereignty places you in the exact place he wants to you serve for his glory. That’s what matters.

Don’t concern yourself with what people call you. Concern yourself with who has called you. The High King of Heaven has called you. Serve him, work for his glory, and let your titles come and go as they may.

Breaking Out of Worship Leader Prison – Pt. 4

“Guilty people make people feel guilty. Free people make people feel free.” This is one of the first things Dr. Steve Brown shared at a class he taught last week, before he shared the twelve prisons that entrap Christians and that are deadly to pastors.

I’ve shared nine of these prisons (part one, part two, and part three), and the underlying issues. Today I’d like to share the last three.

10. Rules
Believe it or not, people will try to manipulate you. They might not even realize they’re doing it, but they are. Don’t be manipulated by the rules people try to set for you. If you want to stay out of the prison of these other-people-imposed rules, you’ll need to set boundaries.

You might recognize some of these:
– Jerry needs a worship leader for his Tuesday night men’s ministry meeting. He asks you. If you say no he won’t have anyone. So you say yes even though it means you’ll be away from home for a fourth straight evening.
– Your bass player refuses to use the online rehearsal resource that the rest of your worship team uses. So you print out chord charts and mail him a CD and spend an extra two hours just on him.
– Amy Amison, a woman who has always sung solos at your church, wants to sing “O Holy Night” this Christmas Eve. She’s not very good. But she’s always sung. You’d rather not have her sing, but you hear from several people that you don’t really have a choice.

So rules get imposed on you. You have to lead worship for the men’s ministry meeting. You have to cater to your uncooperative bass player. You have to let Amy Amison sing.

Why? Because you have to.

No you don’t. You’ve been manipulated.

Being a Christian, and being a worship leader, doesn’t mean you lose your right to set boundaries, to say “no”, to go against unhelpful traditions, and to ruffle feathers. You will burn out more quickly than you can imagine if you allow the prison of rules to keep you locked up.

11. Religion
Leading people in magnifying and exalting the greatness of God in Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit is exciting. Leading musicians in using their gifts to passionately, skillfully, and humbly lead the congregation in singing praise to God is a joy.

But presenting people with a safe, predictable, and polite collection of songs is robotic. Playing chords and melodies to please the ear and manipulate emotions is dangerous.

In the first example we have a picture of the church gathering to celebrate the glory of God. In the second example we have a picture of a religious institution that wants nice music.

When people get really excited about Christianity as an institution, then they’re in prison. The same principle applies to worship leaders. When they get more excited about presenting a polite collection of impressive songs than they do helping people encounter and exalt God’s greatness, they’re (no pun intended), behind bars.

If you find yourself dreading leading worship or coming into the church office to prepare for services and rehearsals, that might be a red flag that you’re in a prison of religion and need to be refreshed and amazed again by the freedom of God’s grace in Jesus Christ.

Jesus elicits our worship. Religion elicits our duty. If you’re duty-bound, then you really are bound. Worship Jesus, not the institution.

12. Gurus
The last prison that entraps worship leaders is the prison of gurus.

There is no shortage of worship gurus out there. To learn from them, be mentored by them, and follow their example is a good and healthy thing (depending on the guru). To worship at their altar is not healthy. In fact, it’s idolatry.

We all have people we put on a pedestal. We think that by emulating them and following them we’ll be more sanctified. But we’re not. We’re less so. We’re fake and in bondage.

There really is incredible bondage in worshipping other worship leaders. There is freedom in worshipping Jesus. Be intentional in seeking out good role models. But be careful not to cross the blurry line into idolizing them.

My prayer for myself, and any worship leader who reads this blog, is that God would continue to break the chains of bondage that seek to hinder our effectiveness in ministry, and that we would be set free, by his grace, more and more every day.

Breaking Out of Worship Leader Prison – Pt. 3

The good news of the Gospel is that we who were dead in sin are now alive in Christ. We who were once in bondage have been set free. Jesus has secured for us eternal peace with God. We live in the freedom of God’s grace. But do we?

Sadly, too many Christians don’t know this freedom. They live their lives feeling guilty, not forgiven. They live their lives in a constant pursuit to make God happy with them, not in gratefulness for his unmerited favor. They pretend to be perfect. They try to make everybody happy. They’re in prison.

This is particularly dangerous for people in ministry, and worship leaders are not immune. The underlying problem is that people see us up in front and think we’re wonderful or expect us to be. We aren’t living in the freedom of God’s grace so, either we carry our guilt and pretend to be wonderful, or do all sorts of silly things in order to seem wonderful. We start pretending, and this puts us in bondage in all sorts of ways.

Last week I shared six different prisons Christians get stuck in as a result of all this (part one, part two). Now three more:

7. Fear
In 2 Timothy 1:7 we’re told that God has not given us a spirit of fear – but a spirit of power and love and self-control. Why, then, are we so afraid of so much, and afraid so often?

There are some worship leaders who constantly live in a fear of shame, conflict, the unknown, difficult people, new ideas, being exposed, losing their job, missing God’s will, ruining a service, etc. The list goes on. This prison of fear kills worship leaders. We have to break out of this one so God can use us.

Sometimes God puts us in situations that cause fear because then we can realize where we need to trust him more. If we didn’t have a Savior who had known excruciating fear but persevered all the way to the cross for our sake, we would have reason to be afraid. But Jesus took care of any reason to fear. He is our Redeemer and Mediator, our Father is sovereign and good, and the Holy Spirit is the Comforter. So relax and get out of the prison of fear.

8. Needing approval
Dr. Steve Brown, whose class I attended last week at RTS and who spoke on each of these twelve prisons, gave us a list of six “nevers” for people in ministry.

–       Never grovel (kiss up)
–       Never apologize when you’re right
–       Say no more than twice
–       Never lie
–       Never pretend to be someone’s mother
–       Never take responsibility for something that isn’t your responsibility

I don’t know about you, but each one of those points resonate with me and are incredibly freeing to consider. What is he getting at in each one of these “nevers”? Get rid of your need for everyone’s approval.

Living in the freedom of God’s grace doesn’t mean being a jerk, insensitive, undiscerning, un-pastoral, harsh, arrogant, sharp-tongued, or politically stupid. Not by any means.

What it does mean, though, is that once we know – really know – that because of Jesus Christ we are completely loved, accepted, ransomed, redeemed, covered, and freed, then we don’t need man’s approval in order to feel like we have worth.

I love the line from “Be Thou My Vision”: “riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise, Thou mine inheritance now and always”. What an inheritance we have in Jesus. We don’t need man’s empty praise.

9. Obligation.
No one told me, when I first started leading worship, how often I would end up come face-to-face with various problems over the years.

Some problems are small: the music stands are broken, the chairs are in disarray, the website hasn’t been updated, the piano tuner needs to get into the church but it’s locked, etc.

Some problems are big: the drummer is disrupting rehearsals with his bad attitude and sometimes vulgar language, a small coalition of longtime members are petitioning the pastor to get your music out of the service, etc.

Worship leaders will face lots of problems over the course of their ministry. They get in trouble when they think they’re the solution to each one of those problems.

Repeat after me: I am not the solution to every problem.

Feel better? You should. That’s what God’s grace will do to you.

There are three more prisons that I’ll share tomorrow, just in case none of these first nine have convicted you yet 🙂