Jamie Brown

Breaking Out of Worship Leader Prison – Pt. 2

Yesterday I shared some of what I’ve been learning this week at a seminary class at RTS taught by Dr. Steve Brown. He is a crusader for the cause of God’s radical grace, and began the class by taking us through twelve “prisons” that keep Christians, and especially those in ministry, in dangerous bondage.

It made me think of how these areas affect worship leaders. Yesterday we looked at the prisons of sin, guilt, and failure. Today I want to look at a few more prisons.

4. The past
I have had incredibly painful experiences in ministry. Many of these came at a young age, leading worship at a small church, coming face to face with some very difficult people and situations.

You’ve had painful experiences too. People have written you vitriolic emails. You’ve made some bad mistakes. You’ve messed up. You’ve been beaten up.

I’ve had to deal with the meanness I encountered when I was a fourteen year old worship leader. I’ve had to really dig deep and forgive those people, repent of my bitterness, and let go of it. You need to deal with your past ministry-inflicted or otherwise-inflicted pain too (if you haven’t).

When we don’t deal with the past it affects the present. Oftentimes it affects us in ways we don’t realize and can’t anticipate. When we get a critical email from someone in our inbox today, we’ll blow up and freak out because we’re responding to the woman from 15 years ago. When our pastor critiques how we prayed in public we’ll overreact and draft our resignation letter because we’re responding to the nasty comments we heard two churches ago.

We get hit with stuff all the time as worship leaders. It will pile up if we let it. Let it go and drop it at the foot of the cross. Jesus has offered to carry our burdens, so let’s take him up on that offer. Break out of the prison of your past so you can be a better worship leader today.

5. Self-abasement
Being humble doesn’t mean being a pushover. Being a servant doesn’t mean being weak. Being conformed to the image of Christ doesn’t mean we can’t be ourselves.

It’s possible to be humble and be strong. It’s possible to be a servant and be bold. It’s possible to be conformed to the image of Christ and be ourselves.

The good news of the Gospel is that we are reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. We’re covered. All the time. We’re not in danger of becoming un-reconciled because we speak up at a planning meeting when we disagree or make decisions that will offend the pastor’s wife who always wants to play piano (but can’t).

This prison – this bondage of always hanging our head low and apologizing for ourselves and taking the easy road and doing the same old bad songs to keep people happy and avoiding difficult conversations – will drive us to insanity.

Being a wuss doesn’t make God any happier with you! Nothing you do makes God any happier with you. God is only happy with you because of Jesus. You’re covered. So, in Christ, be yourself. Break out of this prison of self-abasement.

Yes, wash people’s feet. Yes, serve them. Yes, love them. And yes, pursue humility. But don’t be a pushover. Don’t be weak. It doesn’t make you a better worship leader.

That’s good news. And it should make you feel free.

6. Perfectionism.
Our assumption that perfection is possible is a fatal error. God knows this. So oftentimes God will give us a thorn in our side to prove this isn’t possible. Just because he loves us.

Sin and failure are God’s methodology of showing love to us and receiving praise unto himself since the only way we can really know and appreciate the depth of God’s love is to be unlovable. We are. And the only way to really be grateful for that love is not to deserve it. We don’t.

We all (hopefully) agree in theory that we can’t be perfect. Jesus is the only one who was ever perfect, and it’s through him, the perfect sacrifice, that we are reconciled to God. We don’t deserve God’s grace but it’s been lavished on us.

But in practice we often live in the prison of trying to be as perfect as we can be, in the hopes that it makes God happy with us. This makes us really nervous worship leaders.

Worship leaders who are trying to be perfect in order to please God are in a dangerous place. It’s only when we get it – really get it – that we’re only made righteous through Jesus and because of this we live in tremendous freedom – that we’ll be able to help our congregations get it. Break out of the prison of perfectionism and rejoice in the freedom that comes from the One who is perfect on our behalf.

More tomorrow.

Breaking Out of Worship Leader Prison – Pt. 1

This week I’m taking a seminary class at Reformed Theological Seminary here in Washington, D.C. The course is called “The Christian Life” and is taught by Dr. Steve Brown (no relation, by the way). Steve is hammering home the great freedom of grace that belongs to us in Jesus Christ and the horrible bondage most of us live in without realizing it. This is a shame for believers. It’s dangerous for people in up-front ministry.

Steve describes 12 prisons that keep us from experiencing radical grace and damage our ministry. They’ve been eye-opening for me and I want to share them with you.

1. Sin
Most of us are in a dangerous place. We’re up front, on a stage, sometimes on a screen, and in a position of leadership. The congregation thinks we’re pure, holy, righteous, have a great prayer life, tithe, sponsor an orphan in Colombia, and never get angry or lust.

The problem is that we know we’re not wonderful. We know we’re sinners. There are things we’ve done that, if people in the congregation knew about them, we’d be humiliated and never want to show our face again.

We’re in a profession where we have to pretend to be who they think we are. This is a terrible prison. This is great bondage.

If you go around pretending you’re wonderful (but feeling ashamed of your secret sin), you’ll be miserable. And so will the people who work with you and serve under you.

Guilty people make people feel guilty. Free people make people feel free. We have been set free from our sin by the blood of Jesus. Yes, we’re depraved. But we’re redeemed. Do you lead worship like a free person or a guilty person?

2. Guilt
Conviction says I have failed to be obedient. Guilt is the feeling associated with that conviction, and its purpose is to send us to Jesus. But once we’re there, guilt has no purpose.

Sadly, we carry guilt with us for years and years, and it is a heavier weight than we realize. This weight weakens us, limits us, makes us do stupid things, and acts as a leash around our neck, keeping us from running free in God’s grace

In addition to making people feel guilty, guilty people are always trying to work towards their own freedom. Most of the time this takes the form of us punishing ourselves in the futile hope that this earns us favor.

Hanging your head low, saying “no” to great opportunities, and carrying crippling feelings of anxiety and unworthiness won’t make you free. They’ll keep you in prison.

Worship leaders who walk in the radical and total grace of God are more emboldened to lead their teams and their congregations with abandon. Are you ministering with abandon or do you feel bound up?

3. Failure
Steve Brown describes the problem this way: “There is a neurotic sense of Christians that they don’t deserve success because of their sin. This sense creates failure”.

Think about that for a second.

Too many Christians, and too many worship leaders, have a neurotic sense that they don’t deserve success because of their sin. And so they fail. Maybe they go to a new church and take a new job. But they still don’t understand God’s grace. So they don’t think they deserve success. And so they fail again.

The sooner we realize that our “sin, not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and (we) bear it no more”, the more freely we can sing “praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!” Until we do that, we carry our sin with us, we don’t think we could possibly succeed because of it, and our songs are halfhearted.

More tomorrow.

Are You Amazed Anymore?

A few nights ago our 15 month old daughter, Megan, started walking on her own. She had taken one or two independent steps before, but finally, one evening after dinner, she decided she was quite comfortable walking around our entire living room.

We were amazed. We applauded her, swooped her up and hugged her, took pictures and video, Skyped with her grandparents in California so they could see it, and delayed her bed time by quite a bit just so we could keep watching her walk.

Several days have passed and she’s still walking – but I’m not amazed anymore.

What would have been unheard of just a week ago – Megan walking around the living room – is now normal to me. I check email and read the news while she toddles around without any applause or swooping or filming or Skyping.

It’s easy for us to lose our amazement, isn’t it?

When I first came to my church 6 1/2 years ago, they were still relatively new to the use of contemporary music in congregational worship. I was young and immature, but eager and excited, and was quickly overwhelmed by how far the congregation had to go (and, whether I realized it or not, how far I had to go too).

Over the course of time, God, by his grace, has moved us ahead. Is there still room for growth? Oh yes. Have we made any progress? You would be amazed.

But I’m not amazed anymore. And I should be.

What would have been unheard of just 6 1/2 years ago is now normal to me. I would have never been able to introduce an upbeat celebratory song. The band couldn’t have played it and the congregation would have been shocked. I certainly wouldn’t have heard any clapping or seen any physical expressiveness. Our repertoire was shallow. Our equipment was terrible. Our rehearsals were ineffective. These are just a few examples off the top of my head. I could probably think of hundreds more.

God has faithfully helped us grow. He has answered prayer after prayer and allowed us to express our worship to him and encounter him in a level of freedom that we weren’t experiencing just a short time ago. He has done it. And I should be amazed.

The people of God have a long and sad history of forgetting his “wondrous works” (Psalm 105:5) and selfishly demanding more without remembering what he’s already done. We’re all guilty of this. But oh how much more satisfied and joyful we’d be if we opened our eyes to the miracles he’s done right in front of us.

What “wondrous works” has God done in your midst, in your congregation, in your own life and ministry, and in your worship team? More than you remember and probably more than you realize. What “unheard of” things are now normal?

There will always be room to grow. But there will always be a reason to be amazed.

I want to be a father – and a worship leader – who never ceases to be amazed by baby steps. How about you?

Song Recommendation: Grace is Not Earned

A few months ago I came across this new song from Kate Simmons and wanted to recommend it to you. It’s called “Grace is Not Earned”.

Here are the lyrics:

Grace is not earned, nor deserved,
It is a gift from God.
Saved by Your mercy alone,
Rescued by Your great love.
Grace is the heart of the Father,
Grace is the gift of the Son,
Grace is the work of the Spirit,
Revealing the wonder of an amazing God.

You know how often I fail
And all that I can’t undo,
Stains I’ve no means to erase,
How can I stand before You?
Christ takes the cross on His shoulders,
Steadfast to Calvary’s hill,
Leaving my sin in the grave
He rises, the conquering Son,
Such amazing love!

Raised by Your life, now in Christ,
Chosen and dearly loved,
I am now seen through Your eyes:
Righteous through Jesus’ blood!
Ransomed, restored and forgiven,
My sins are remembered no more!
Though still I’ll stumble, You’ll keep me.
By grace, I’ll continue on in unending love!

Oh the mercy, oh the mercy of our God, of our God. (repeat)

Kate Simmonds. © 2010 Phat Music / Administered by Song Solutions CopyCare. 14 Horsted Square, Uckfield, East Sussex, TN22 1QG England. info@songsolutions.org

Here’s a video of Kate singing the song:

What I like about the song:
– It says things in a new way. I love the line: “Grace is the heart of the Father, grace is the gift of the Son, grace is the work of the Spirit…” So good.
– It points us to the finished work of Christ on the cross and what that means for us.
– It’s clear. You can’t read the lyrics of this song and wonder what it means.
– It teaches. The very first line is key: “Grace is not earned, nor deserved, it is a gift from God”. This is worth singing about.

You can purchase the mp3 and PDF of the music here.

Don’t Believe Your Own Hype

You have a fan club, whether you realize it or not.

Maybe it’s small. A few old ladies who think you’re just adorable and ask when you’re going to make a CD.

Or maybe it’s larger. Gushing Facebook posts, lots of Twitter followers, people recognize you at the grocery store, and your church bookstore carries your very own CD.

Most worship leaders are somewhere in between. You don’t have a CD to sell or Twitter followers of any substantial number, but you do have a significant number of people at your church who see you up front regularly, have an affinity for you, and think you’re much more terrific and wonderful than you actually are.

In any case, it can be tempting to start to believe the hype that naturally surrounds anyone who stands on a stage in a position of leadership and possesses musical gifts. Before you know it you’re demanding only Evian bottled water, yellow M&Ms, and the auditorium a constant 72.4 degrees (that’s in Fahrenheit for my European friends).

Don’t believe your own hype. It’s a slippery slope to arrogance and pride and there is nothing that will hinder your effectiveness in ministry more. God isn’t exaggerating when he warns us that he “opposes the proud” (James 4:6).

Here are three practical ways you can keep the “hype” around you in check.

Be approachable
Avoid the temptation to cloister yourself away in a back room before and after the service. Rock stars do this. Worship leaders shouldn’t. Be available and approachable before and after the service. This is an easy and tangible way to demonstrate to your congregation that you love them, and to deflate the inflation of your ego.

Be humble
For anyone seeking to pursue humility, C.J. Mahaney’s book Humility: True Greatness is an absolute must-read. You can read it in one evening, but if you’re smart, you’ll take some time to read through it and allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and help you see where you need to grow.

It’s easy to say “be humble” but it’s hard to do. “Pursue humility” is a much better way to phrase it. Every morning, every day, and every night, resist the fleshly pull toward pride. Laugh at yourself. Encourage and honor those around you. Remember your sinfulness. Rejoice in Jesus’ work of redeeming you and covering you with his blood. That’s the only thing worth boasting in.

We start to believe the hype when we believe there’s something about ourselves that’s worth boasting in. Unless that “thing” is the cross of Christ, we’re off base.

Be cross-centered
Paul writes in Ephesians 2:1-3,

“…you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience – among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.”

You. We all. Our. By nature.

Verse 4:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”

But God. Two of the greatest words in all of scripture.

The hype tells us we’re wonderful and adorable and a really big deal. The cross tells us we were children of wrath but are now objects of God’s mercy.

As a worship leader, to be effective you have to be deflective. People will sinfully want to praise you. You’ll sinfully want to receive it and believe it. Don’t. Deflect the praise of man and direct your own need to make much of something great onto the One who is rich in mercy and worthy of every bit of hype we can muster.