This past Sunday night I had the privilege of spending the evening with a small group of people who are a part of the leadership and vision team for the young adults ministry at my church. I was there to lead a few songs at the beginning and a couple at the end. About 15 people were there in the basement of the young adults Pastor’s house, sitting in a circle on the floor for a few hours – praying, listening, and discerning together God’s direction for the ministry in the coming year. It was a great time.
Leading the music in a small group context is challenging, but there are some things you can do as the leader to help make people feel comfortable:
Have realistic expectations
Ask a lot of questions of the small group leader before you show up so that you can picture in your mind as accurately as possible what the room will look like, how many people will be there, what the people are like, what they’re used to, whether they’re an expressive group or not, etc. This will help you know how to lead effectively, and it will help you not have any major surprises. If it’s a group of 6th grade boys, you’ll walk away encouraged if they just stayed in one place. Do yourself a favor and make sure you know exactly what kind of setting you’re walking in to.
Help people feel relaxed
People generally feel a bit nervous when singing in a small group because they can’t hide like they can in a room full of people. Their voice is going to stand out more, the person next to them might think they’re not a good singer, etc. You will serve a small group well if you can help them feel relaxed. First, don’t look nervous. Project confidence and humility. It will make a difference in the room. Secondly, say something brief and encouraging. Oftentimes just addressing the fact that people might feel nervous will help them relax. But don’t address it too much and make it a bigger deal than it is. If no one is nervous, don’t make them so! Third, go with the flow. If the family dog runs into the middle of the circle and everyone starts laughing, just go ahead and laugh with them. You will set the tone during the singing. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
Don’t prescribe how people should respond
It’s usually not a good idea to do this in any setting, but especially in a small group. Don’t say things like: “let’s all stand”, or “let’s clap now”, or “sing it out everybody!” Instead, say things like: “let’s sing together, feel free to stand if you’re comfortable, or if you’d rather sit or kneel that’s fine”. Lower your intensity level and help make people feel safe.
Sing and play simply
If you’re playing guitar, use simple and easy to follow strumming patters. Avoid lots of melodic embellishments. If you’re playing piano, don’t play lots of flourishes that will distract people. Stick to the melody as you sing and don’t deviate from it. If you’re using recorded music, pick simple versions of songs.
Sing and play strongly
Provide a solid foundation for people to feel comfortable singing out. On guitar or piano, emphasize the bass progression more strongly than you would if you had a band with you. Play loudly enough that people don’t have to whisper. If your guitar is too quiet for the room, a guitar amp, if used sparingly, can help provide a boost. Again, project confidence so people don’t feel as though they have to hold back.
Sing familiar songs from memory
In your preparation, try to find out which songs people know well. Favor familiar songs so that you don’t have to worry about song sheets or projecting them onto a wall. Singing from memory is lower maintenance (i.e. you don’t have to worry about making and copying song sheets or projecting lyrics onto a wall), frees people to sing from their heart rather than off a page, and allows you flexibility to deviate from your plan if the Holy Spirit prompts you to.
Sing new songs from song sheets
If there’s no way to know if the songs you’re going to lead are familiar or not, then it’s a good idea to bring song sheets. If you want to teach a new song and not be stuck singing the same 5 or 10 songs that everyone knows, then type it out and bring it with you. You don’t want the small group to be too dependent on song sheets, but you also don’t want people to be disengaged and not singing along. Use your judgment about whether or not song sheets would be a hindrance or an aid.
Sing in lower-than-normal keys
I’ll typically lower every song one whole step when I lead in a small group. Try to make C the highest note a song hits in a small group. This past Sunday night before we sang “It’s All About You”, I realized that in the original key of D, the song gets pretty high in the chorus, hitting a D three times. I wouldn’t usually worry about this is a larger setting, but I know that in a small group, that’s the highest note most people are comfortable singing. Instead of making them really reach for that D, I’ll drop the song down to C so it’s more comfortable.
Be an encourager – not a demander
If you’re leading the singing in a small group and you realize that out of ten people, three are not singing at all, and two are covertly checking email on their phones, you have a choice to make. You can get frustrated, disappointed, take it personally, and say something that sounds very spiritual but is actually intended to make those five people grow up – or you can remind yourself that the Holy Spirit is at work, pray that God would give you patience, and then if you feel prompted to say something, do it in a way that helps people focus on the unsearchable greatness of God rather than on your demands.
Worship leaders should always be seeking humility, and leading in a small group setting is one practical way to do that. It reminds you that “real worship” doesn’t only happen with a band, hundreds of people, expensive equipment, and a microphone in front of your face. It teaches you how to balance gentleness and firmness, how to encourage, when to say something, and when to be quiet. It helps you grow in your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Ultimately, it’s a way to serve the church with the gifts God has given you, and that’s always worth it, whether it’s for thousands of people or just 15.
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